Notes on Loving and Being Loved - A Human Tragedy

The first part of this article is an update.  To read the original article written a few weeks after my marriage, skip to the title line below.

Update - 2017.  I wrote this in 2009.  In 2015, in October, my beloved wife Judy Ann Jones-Hubertz caught a cancer, and she died 7 months later.  She died as she lived - bravely, and deeply hurting, but she never would accept or run from pain.

She had a sore hip, and the diagnosis was terminal lung cancer, already spreading through her bones and into her brain.  She had a sore hip.

And she is dead - and I nearly died also.  I accepted this, and gave most of my money to my children, mortgatged my home and ran up all my credit cards.  I got drunk a few times, cried a few times, and waited to die.  

But - I live on, it has been three years, and I lived.  Not through any fault of my own - I tried to die, and was going to kill myself when it snowed here in Northeast Indiana...  it always snows.  

It never snowed.  For two terrible, awful winters, it never snowed in zip code 46806 in Fort Wayne, Indiana.  Look it up.

This spring, I did something I have never in my life done before.  I broke my promise and solemn vow to myself, and decided not to die.  I removed the kerosene heater and the comfortable chair from my tiny closet, and walked out into the world.

My writing was finally finished, the New Hope Church was ready for the world.... not a new faith, but a doctrine of how and why we are alive, and how to live a life of miracles, and save the world....

A doctrine of truth.

And God came to me then, in the Spring, and spoke to me again - the same voice heard by Buddha and Jesus, Abraham and Moses, the voice that has guided my writing since I was just a boy so long ago.

And God said this - "John, Stop Waiting to be Perfect."

This article was lost to the world, but somehow I came across it today.  It took a lot of effort to republish it and add it to the New Hope message.  

John Hubertz, Fort Wayne Indiana, December, 2017

Notes on Loving and Being Loved - 

On June 11th, I lost my Blessed Mother to Dementia at age 92. This was a fairly early death for my family - many of us live to be 100 years old or beyond.  In September I married the hospice lady - a love story.  But, as middle-aged men tend to be "maudlin" (thinking of the past with fond sorrow), tonight over a whiskey sour (a drink), I began to think about Mom, and my new wife, and the future.  

Not always a good idea, but hey - I've shed a tear before and it didn't kill me.  I'm no spring chicken.

Why was I thinking that way?  Well, a few minutes ago I saw an advertisement on my BBC cable channel for a show called Doctor Who - a fictional character who because of the plotline, is a person who will live a very, very long life.

The Doctor Who advertisement got me thinking - he spoke for my Mother in a way....

"To live a long life is a mixed blessing - for you are destined to watch everyone and everything pass away as your life goes on and on."

Tom Hank's character on the movie "The Green Mile" said essentially the same thing - a very touching scene.

My mother lived long - almost all the people she knew, her husband, her daughter (My sister Mary), and hundreds and hundreds of deeply loved people, places, jobs and moments all long past; dead, gone, turned to dust and cherished sadness of sweet memory.

Queen Elizabeth said goodbye to the man who helped raise her (the King was quite busy), her Uncle, and gave a eulogy just a few days after 9/11/2001.  But as the Queen of England she was speaking (as is her duty) not just to family and friends, but to the nation and indeed the world.  The September 11th tragedy made it more meaningful for many of us around the world (many British nationals died at the World Trade Center).

She said then that just as each birth guarantees a death, to choose to live with vigor, to love, not just once and when young but as an ongoing commitment to life is a terrible sacrifice, but a very sweet sorrow.

To Love is to Lose - you cannot cling to this life, all things will pass - it is the condition of the human experience as we walk the river of time through birth, growth, life and eventually, death.

To Love is to Lose. But she said then, and as I strongly believe, that the only path of life, faith and hope is to take the risk, accept the pain and agonizing knowing, and to choose love.

On September 9th I married a wonderful woman - the hospice lady for my Mother, the widow Mrs. Judy A. Jones. I'm an older man... and know only too well my time with her will be limited by fate, health and the relentless ticking of the clock. Here she is - she and I, at our wedding. It is a wonderful, strong and terrible love we share - knowing that the time and season of our years (we are both 50) is well past noon - and our days of life and love will someday come to an ending.

I simply thank God, reality, whatever it is that creates this moment, for giving me the great good fortune to meet her... and to once more and for perhaps the last time, choose love.

John Hubertz, Fort Wayne, Indiana, December 2009.

Meet Our Founders - The New Hope Church

Hello,

As our little faith has grown by leaps and bounds these last few months we receive occasional requests regarding our history, faith background, and qualifications for ministry.

This is a quick summary - but I will add to this information as time allows, and I hope to receive permission to include a couple of photographs.

Our ministry formally began approximately 20 years ago, thanks to the extraordinary example and life choices expressed by the family of John Hubertz.  His blessed father Carl (deceased, 2001) and his blessed mother Bernice reacted to a life crisis involving John not by rejection, judgement, or anything remotely resembling "tough love", but by expressing absolute and unconditional acceptance of his new life circumstances.  John's life had spiralled suddenly from apparent success and stability to a whirling mess of confusion, obvious issues with his mental health, and at that time, serious alcohol use and drug addiction.

Not for a moment - not for an instant, did Mr and Mrs Hubertz consider turning John away, setting boundaries that would result in rejection, or join the chorus of voices that demanded his immediate expulsion from their lives and the lives of normal human society.

So,  John lived - not well, but he lived, at the home he grew up in.  He rattled in and out of their lives for several years, until thanks to God's unearned grace, their ceaseless prayers and the help of some serious professionals, John's life began to stabilize and return to a new normal.

They did this despite an unending barrage of friends, family, television "experts" and popular addiction and mental health advice that demanded they demand John instantly change or reject him permanently from their home and their lives.

This advice fell on deaf ears - and their love continued to flow, like a wellspring of hope and healing.

During these dark times, they also encouraged John to bring home his friends from the streets and alleys, from the liquor stores and seedy bars, from the drug houses and those strange lonely places where the throwaways of society wander this great nation.

And when he did begin to bring "friends" home, they ignored their obvious strangeness, their intoxication, their smell and their appearance.  Hot food and showers and a warm bed were offered to one and all.  And that humble but large home on Palisade Drive in Fort Wayne became a place of miracles - of healing, of hope and of courage and of faith.  Not the faith of Sunday mornings and TV preachers, but the faith of Jesus --  the faith of miracles and truth and God's saving grace.

And the miracles you should have seen the MIRACLES!  Miracles abided in this house and were witnessed by all who visited in those wonderful days.

John's condition and mental state had steadily improved and by 2004 he and some friends from the Carriage House Clubhouse in Fort Wayne (a facility for life-skill improvement and social engagement for the mentally ill) decided to expand on the mission and values of Carl and Bernice and begin actively expressing their philosophy, their values, and the philosophies and values of the clubhouse system (an internationally recognized mental health therapeutic society with certified facilities worldwide).

John and his friends formed a loose-knit not for profit family company they called "Right Hand Enterprises" - and their motto became "Helping People Help Each Other."

The core principles of the Hubertz household, the Carriage House clubhouse, and of Right Hand Enterprises (RHE) are expressed in four guarantees to all who walk through the doors:

1.  The right of a place to come (without cost, without limitation)
2.  The right to meaningful work (if you wish to help, or to obtain a paid job - but this is not required)
3.  The right to (form) meaningful relationships (with us and those you meet here and through us)
4.  The right (if necessary) of a place to return  (for example, if someone is asked to leave due to violence or thievery or causing conflict with others - once things have settled down, they are automatically welcome again)

That is it - four simple rights, and a door that is always open.  

Amish Publishing House

Publishing[edit]

In 1964 Pathway Publishers was founded by two Amish farmers to print more print material about the Amish and Anabaptists in general. It is located in Lagrange, Indiana, and Aylmer, Ontario. Pathway has become the major publisher of Amish material. Pathway publishes a number of school text books, general reading books, and periodicals. There are also a number of private enterprises who publish everything from general reading to reprints of older literature that has been considered of great value to Amish families.^[85] Some Amish read the Pennsylvania German newspaper Hiwwe wie Driwwe, and some of them even contribute dialect texts.

Assumption of liability and responsitility – Parent’s Love (parent’missa) fort wayne

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN September 11, 2017

NOTICE OF ASSUMPTION OF OPERATING COSTS AND LIABILITIES – “PARENT’S LOVE” center LLC.

To all whom these presents come, greetings.  With humble gratitude and a heavy awareness of the nature of this task, the New Hope Church (Worldwide) is stepping forward to save, nurture, grow and operate the facility known as the “Parent’s Love” (parent’ missa) center that is the sole property of the family of Sister Elaine of Cameroon, Africa and Fort Wayne.

Following contact by the extended family (tribal affiliation) of the Cameroon culture to which Sister Elaine of Indiana and Cameroon belongs, our international council has determined that this church and school, located at 7201 South Anthony boulevard in Fort Wayne, Indiana, qualifies for immediate financial and spiritual intervention.

This intervention is offered humbly in cooperation with the International Association of Churches and Faith Assemblies, of London England and Lourdes, France.  This is consistent with U.N. charter guidelines which state in part that:  (next page)

“It is the responsibility of the greater faith community (as a whole) to maintain any structure or place that has been dedicated to the service of God.”  This international mandate is our guiding mission and purpose of our worldwide ministry.

We will do whatever is necessary and appropriate to honor our commitment to legally defend, maintain, improve, operate and or share this sacred space for the good of all.

Be hereby notified we have been granted unrestricted access to: 

Ownership and leaseholder information and status

Utility and safety records

Insurance and liability records and documentation

Tax records

Electronic records of incorporation and mission statement

The Ish-A tribal communities of Cameroon, Africa - especially the Grandfather and parents of the woman known as “Sister Elaine of Cameroon” has accepted our unconditional help.  Miss “Sister” Elaine has been required to step away from this formative new church project without warning or preparation. 

We have received written authority to perform this sacred duty on behalf of this church community on South Anthony boulevard in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

We are here to help, we have the written authorization of Sister Elaine as Church Elder of “Parent’s Love”, and we assure you that our presence here is not to replace or overshadow the work already underway, but to add our money, our effort and our voices to this Holy Duty.

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY DIRECT ALL INQUIRIES, FINANCIAL OR OTHERWISE, TO DEACON JOHN HUBERTZ OF THE NEW HOPE CHURCH AND SCHOOL, PALISADE DRIVE, FORT WAYNE, INDIANA.  260-297-0535.

BE NOTIFIED THAT PURSUANT TO OUR CHARTER AND OUR MISSION, AS WELL AS CONSISTENT WITH OUR INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE ISH-A OF CAMEROON, AFRICA, WE WILL BE OBTAINING INTERIOR ACCESS TO THIS FACILITY BY NOVEMBER 1, 2017.

IT IS OUR GOAL TO RE-OPEN THIS FACILITY TO OFFER FAITH BASED SERVICES AS OF JANUARY, 2018.

DIRECT ALL INQUIRIES TO US OR TO NIKOS C. NAKOS, ATTORNEY AT LAW FOR THE NEW HOPE CHURCH (WORLDWIDE) HERE IN FORT WAYNE.

Deacon John Edward Hubertz, c/o

New Hope Church and School

2816 palisade drive, fort wayne, Indiana, USA 46806-5323

(260) 297-0535

Legal inquiries or service:  New Hope Church c/o Nikos C. Nakos, Attorney at Law LLC, Columbia Street, Fort Wayne, Indiana, 46802  

Listen and learn. Imagine Dragons.

Imagine Dragons...  Imagine Peace...  Imagine Joy...  Imagine.

For as we believe so we shall see - as we live so shall we pass into eternity and complete unity with all that is.

God is in the details.

Foreword to Message from God

Background:

The message you are about to read is the culmination of over 40 years of my own writing and research, always under the guidance of Mr. Carl.  He has been my teacher, and he has been a friend of my family for three full generations.

We have spent many evenings with him at our table or when he was working with my Father who was a homebuilder.

Mr. Carl also farms land and raises food for both animals and people.

Carl is both a Father and a Grandfather, although for several years now he lives in a small house next to the home he built so long ago for his new wife and their many children - He lives on the same land that has been in his family for generations.  He is within walking distance of many of his children and grandchildren, now grown up with families of their own.

His wife died several years ago.  You can read the story of his life in the lines on his face, in the way he walks - he bears every scar and broken bone and wrinkle as a living memory of honor and long life.  He has led a full life of both tragedy and joy.  Above all, he loves the children - all children, and they are his delight.

Author's Note:  My faith, which is Reform Catholicism, is a "First Century Church in the Twenty-First Century" - based  on our interpreted version of writings Mister Carl has shared with us over the past fifteen years.  He shared them first with my Blessed Mother and Myself as he would join us for Supper at least once a month.  He is over 70 years old.

The philosophies and writings are based on scholarly works Mister Carl has created and occasionally published since he was 15 years old.  Some are handwritten, but most of them are typed on sheets of paper.

I am allowed to read them and then talk about them, but I am not allowed to keep them.  Until now.  Now I have them all for you to read.

He wants this initial message to be in the traditional "Voice of God" (a man's voice) but does not explain why.  He has told me hundreds of times this humble truth:  "Men and Women are Equal in My Sight".

"Equal does not mean we are the same."

He is curious to see if he can send his Son again without his Son or messenger getting tortured and killed.  He seems to want to avoid this.  If you know the history of human faith you must admit that most people like Jesus or Gandhi wind up dying violent deaths at the hands of large crowds of people.  Perhaps it is an occupational hazard.

Here is the reality:  Jesus was the promised Savior, but his life was meant to be followed as an example...  he was "rebbe" (teacher) and he came to teach us all how to be Saviors too, or at least how to make miracles and help each other.

Mister Carl has a sense of humor, and he said to me, "Jesus had to die to do this."  If he is the new Christ, I think he would prefer to avoid being killed as a criminal deviant this time around.

Plus, he is very busy.  His hands and feet and strength are used 6 days a week from "can-see to can't see".  His personal hours vary with the seasons, but he has on occasion been "called in the zealous spirit" and stayed awake for a week or more pounding away at his typewriter.

God Speaks Directly through Mister Carl and he is bringing a new message to the world.  Here it is in its entirety.  This introduction is very brief and it is the first direct message I have been given to publish.

Funeral Arrangements and Graveyard Fees

The $500 funeral

Give me all your money!

As residents of the United States and in awareness of the grinding poverty the elderly and disabled experience here in Allen County, Indiana, we are terribly aware of the greed and sheer usury that is represented by the sad sick fact that a modern American funeral costs over $10,000.

What you may not know is that even here in prosperous and wealthy Indiana, 80% of households of people over age 75 are living on fixed incomes of less than $1000 per month.

All people die - and most American families are not rich.  Despite this fact, at the moment of death, a massive corporate funeral industry with the tacit cooperation of the traditional churches and their leaders then inform the grieving survivors that they must now spend or borrow $10,000 to bury Mom or Dad or your dead brother in a graveyard with a Minister and a Marker.

It is appalling.

This is sinful, it is obvious and it systematically robs widows and orphans of the few pennies they have.  I cannot continue to remain silent.  I stand in sacred rage and must bear witness to this unholy injustice being perpetrated on people at the most vulnerable moments of their lives.

I roar in defiance -

"THIS WE CANNOT ABIDE."

So the New Hope Church has acquired the authority and necessary licensing to begin offering a $500 traditional funeral service, including all handling of the remains and necessary staff and materials.

We know as Saviors and Apostles of Christ that miracles can only happen if we take action.  That is how saving the world works.

We do not have to succeed in our Holy Quest, but we are obligated to try.

Effective January, 2018, the New Hope Church is offering full access to our facilities and a non-denominational traditional funeral service that will include any faith traditions that you prefer, performed by an ordained Apostolic Minister indoors or at the gravesite.

Our little church has located several abandoned small graveyards or untillable rural land we can by law use for burial of blessed remains.  We plan to allow funerals and sacred burials beginning in January, 2018.  It will be at our proposed new location in rural Northeast Allen County.

As a licensed church we are allowed to handle cremated remains for appropriate placement in a small coffin suitable for ground burial.

Our staff will assist in the removal and medical donation of your loved one's body that will result in benefits for the living, and within two weeks those remains will be returned in a medically appropriate sealed container following hospital grade cremation.  This service is free to all.

Our prices are as follows:  Assistance with planning or pre-planning, to finalize a firm price for the service and burial, $200.

Land transfer and use fees, grave registration and recording - Indiana.  $100

We offer a 2' by 4' plot of deeded sacred cemetery ground, without maintenance, for $100.  This includes digging the hole and closing the grave.  This will ground-inter approximately 5% of the total cremated remains, the rest remain with you in the custom wood box.

We offer a handmade wooden box for humble burial of your loved one.  Amish made.  $100.  

If you wish to use your own receptacle, human remains handling fee is $50.  

We offer a graveside funeral service in any faith you choose, and/or full New Hope sacramental mass, for an additional $100.   Memorial service in 7 days, No Charge (collection plate)

We offer a limestone tombstone that is 2' X 12", inscribed with name and date.  Handmade of native Indiana limestone.  $200 including seasonal installation. 

Custom carving and scrollwork available, $200 additional.

Extra words, $12 per word.

Any faith or language, Prayer cards and memory basket - you keep. (very nice quality)
Prayers are locally written using classic faith texts and are unique to your loved one.  $150

Total cost will be preset and should be prepaid - for a very nice, dignified celebration of life and death.  Additional services available - prices negotiable.

If you or your family are unable to pay for these modest services, we have church members standing ready to assist you.  No one will be turned away.

As always, our community center space is available for your extended use with a $250 setup and cleanup fee per four hour period.

Yours in Christ, 

Deacon John Hubertz at Fort Wayne, Indiana, September 2017

Additional Reading: "Coexist" - Welcome to the New Hope Church

Additional Reading: "God Speaks" A Message of Hope for All Mankind

Additional Reading: Foundational Theology of the New Hope Church

A growing number of recent immigrants from India, Burma, Mexico and elsewhere are choosing to begin their American journey by living and working with the Amish as construction laborers and in farm jobs all over rural Allen County, All churches have the responsibility to welcome and serve these new families who are strangers in a strange land.

Our Reform Church feels a strong calling to partner with the literally hundreds of other Allen County church communities and especially with the incredibly generous and supportive local Amish to demonstrate how sincerely we want to welcome, nurture and support these important new neighbors who are working so hard to find a place for themselves and their families by choosing to live near and among us.

I just received permission from our church fellowship to seek an abandoned or unused church or school building in Northeast Allen County.

Once we find an appropriate building, We will somehow find a way to beg, borrow, lease, purchase or restore this old building as a school and learning center.

We need a flexible multi-use room that will serve both as a classroom space and a 24 hour community resource center. We'll use the building ourselves for our occasional study groups but more importantly would like to open our doors to the growing rural immigrant communities to use for their English classes.

We believe this answer's Christ's call to nurture the strangers among us, and to welcome them into our communities.

We have decided to make this effort our guiding mission for the foreseeable future, and thus provide tangible evidence of our community wide support for immigrants and other new families who decide to begin their American journey by living and working with us here in Allen County, Indiana. All are welcome here. We worship at home - we don't build churches, we build schools.

Our first free school and community center will be a test bed for simple, low cost free community resources that help bridge the gap between rural communities and the incredible resource that is 24 hour access to the worldwide web with a bit of skilled help if you need it.

We will also install a nice big open wi-fi hotspot that will give high-speed internet access using the same technologies that are installed in all well equipped public libraries as a community resource. This technology has now dropped in price that a system that cost the Fort Wayne Public Library downtown $6000 five years ago now routinely sell used for under $100, or new for less than $500 including support and installation. We can afford that.

We envision a modest building equipped as a schoolroom but also serving as a year round climate controlled warming or cooling center open to the public at all times.

We plan to provide two or three good internet high speed computer workstations for free use by anyone with a even remotely legitimate purpose.

An emergency and non emergency phone system will be permanently installed and will be available for free use by all who need to use the phone. This may be of great value locally as the Amish are completely dependent on sometimes unreliable cellular phones - while ours will be hardwired in for 100% reliable emergency phone access.

So anyway - our plans are beginning to take shape. This isn't actually a very complicated thing to build - just a few clean comfortable rooms and some nice big doors that will always be open to anyone who would like to visit for any reason at all.

One of history's greatest minds, on the subject of warfare.

Wanted - Submerged 15 passenger vans for restoration by the handicapped through our church, then to be gifted to small charities or rural churches.